Note to self...

Surrender and giving up are opposite responses to failure. Giving up mimics surrender, but it is actually unbelief. It leaves no room for an answer. If you give in to it, you will be pulled into hopeless despair and self-pity.

Surrender lets go. It admits the truth of your inadequacies. But it doesn't end there. It shifts the problem from your limitations to God's infinite ability. It takes humility to surrender and say "I can't, and I don't know how you can, but God I will believe in you anyway." It's the first step toward a miracle.

note to self...

Don't expect the peace and provision of God to come to you automatically in times of difficulty. Many people have given up because they didn't understand the faith factor. God wants you to believe Him before you see Him act. It's the essence of faith. Trust Him when you don't feel like it. Trust Him when you don't see his answer. Your faith is the doorway for His activity. He will bring peace as soon as you cross the threshold.

Note to self

life is a series of problem solving situations. Each day you will be faced with some type of problem which you will either try and solve yourself or ask God for help. You will save hours of frustration by not attempting the first route and immediately go to God. If you yield to His wisdom, the answer will come. Wait for it. In time, trusting God for everything will be your lifestyle, which is what He is after.

notes to self...

I stumbled across some old binders filled with notes to a loved one struggling to hang on to God. I knew her exhaustion. I undetstood the temptation to give up. And I felt her longing for escape. I'd been there.

Someone needed to encourage her before she tip-toed into oblivion. The possibilities scared me into writing to her each day.

I became her coach. Sharing what I'd learned while merely a stroke ahead in the struggle to stay afloat. The notes became a lifeline between us, offering hope in digestible bites.

She did exactly as I suggested. Memorized the verses I gave her, and avoided the snags I encountered.

As I grew stronger, I knew she would survive.

In time I no longer needed to write the words to her. She lived them. I could let go of begging God for her tomorrows.

I know because the words were notes to myself.

note to self...

Some days you will be bombarded with confusing thoughts. It may be an unrelenting song stuck in your head, doubts about God or yourself, obsessive ruminations over something out of your control, or just mental static from the noise around you. This internal turbulence can send you to a bad place if you try and figure out where it came from, or let it steal your attention. Don't engage in the battle and rabbit-trail yourself into anxiety.

The best way to combat these intrusions is to ignore them. Replace the climate of your brain with music based on truth. It is as simple as it sounds. The truth will guide your thoughts back to a safe haven of peace, and the unwelcome poachers will fade back into the darkness from which they slinked.

things that don't make sense...


getting mad at clothes for falling off the hanger

wondering if the chain mail I just deleted was the one bonefide message from God

spending 10 years of my life perfecting chicken casserole recipes

going to a restaurant and ordering chicken

buying dark shadow for above my eyes and dark shadow concealer for under my eyes

purchasing a rat for a pet in the house and killing the rat in the garage

acquiring animals that require cleaning up poop and barf when I had Babies

why older women roll their nylons to just below their knees

when I think it is too much trouble to wear nylons. Then my feet sweat. Then I wonder how I can wear them without the hassle of pulling them all the way up.

grocery lists that include dried cranberries and cranberry juice

Middle ground

To say we are different is an understatement. My husband and I are polar opposites. While he is usually busy ordering his world, I am looking for ways to get out of the box. It works for us. The only real problem comes when he tries to order my world or I attempt to get him out of his box. That happened last Saturday.

Who would have thought our worlds would collide over fish? Right in the middle of the Costco parking lot no less. How stupid is it to give validity to something so insignificant? Just the fact that we were haggling over salmon made me mad. Besides, who doesn't like fresh grilled salmon? Why did he insist on being difficult?

I'm thinking: Buy it, slap the thing on the grill and be done with it. Move on to the sunset or a walk in the park...
He's thinking: I want to think this through because I haven't had a nice meal all week and I want it to be the pinnacle of the weekend...salmon must be accompanied by great side dishes and an appropriate dessert.
After my eyes roll I'm thinking: this could take hours...

It's not like we were yelling. We were talking earnestly. Grim. Like we just received really bad news. Everyone passing our car seemed to give us that knowing look. All because we sat stalemated over dinner.

I finally blurted out "It's just a dang fish!"

That's when we decided to cut bait.

We left the parking lot. As we drove around I prayed God would help us to understand each other. I'm sure John was also praying because he said nothing.

Eventually we discussed the real issue, which boiled down to the need to communicate our expectations clearly without judging each other for being different. To discover in-the-moment compromise.

We went back to Costco and bought some marinated frozen salmon. We sauteed it and served it to the family over pasta from the pantry. Then we took everyone out to frozen yogurt.

Middle ground is good.