Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Middle ground

To say we are different is an understatement. My husband and I are polar opposites. While he is usually busy ordering his world, I am looking for ways to get out of the box. It works for us. The only real problem comes when he tries to order my world or I attempt to get him out of his box. That happened last Saturday.

Who would have thought our worlds would collide over fish? Right in the middle of the Costco parking lot no less. How stupid is it to give validity to something so insignificant? Just the fact that we were haggling over salmon made me mad. Besides, who doesn't like fresh grilled salmon? Why did he insist on being difficult?

I'm thinking: Buy it, slap the thing on the grill and be done with it. Move on to the sunset or a walk in the park...
He's thinking: I want to think this through because I haven't had a nice meal all week and I want it to be the pinnacle of the weekend...salmon must be accompanied by great side dishes and an appropriate dessert.
After my eyes roll I'm thinking: this could take hours...

It's not like we were yelling. We were talking earnestly. Grim. Like we just received really bad news. Everyone passing our car seemed to give us that knowing look. All because we sat stalemated over dinner.

I finally blurted out "It's just a dang fish!"

That's when we decided to cut bait.

We left the parking lot. As we drove around I prayed God would help us to understand each other. I'm sure John was also praying because he said nothing.

Eventually we discussed the real issue, which boiled down to the need to communicate our expectations clearly without judging each other for being different. To discover in-the-moment compromise.

We went back to Costco and bought some marinated frozen salmon. We sauteed it and served it to the family over pasta from the pantry. Then we took everyone out to frozen yogurt.

Middle ground is good.